The way to yourself: how to choose a profession
Once upon a time, I was sincerely convinced that something extraordinary was needed to cope with stress.
For example, that I had to develop some specific personal qualities or learn Zen Buddhism.
Food, a blanket, music, breathing?
No, it’s too simple.
Otherwise, there would not be so much suffering in the world.
I really could not have thought that one day a set of simple and down-to-earth actions would help me survive such serious life shocks as war, the loss of a loved one, or a change in my field of activity.
And they did.
So now I share these simple things with my clients.
And with you as well.
Don’t forget about your body. Eating, drinking, sleeping, and warmth are our basic needs.
No matter how hard we try to forget about them, they are the first things that keep us alive, no matter what.
Take care of yourself.
Drink a cup of hot tea.
Listen to your body: can you feel yourself standing on the ground?
Do you feel support in your legs?
Try to feel it.
Remember to breathe, being aware of your inhalations and exhalations, taking deep breaths and slowly exhaling.
This often helps to calm down and regain control of your emotions.
Learn to control your emotions. Practices such as mindfulness or “his great-grandmother” meditation will help to consolidate conscious emotion management as a skill useful in all life situations.
Ask others for help. Better yet, make a list of people you can turn to for help in case of emergency.
There should be at least 15 such people.
Think about what kind of help you would ask each of them for.
Perhaps someone will be able to sympathize, someone will be a reliable support, and someone will help you cope with difficult everyday issues.
After all, each of us is not omnipotent, and sometimes we just need the help of a loved one.
Imagine someone you could lean on.
If you happen to be all alone, it doesn’t matter – think of someone who has supported and protected you in the past.
Your father, grandmother, teacher, or closest friend.
What would he say to you in this situation?
What would he do, how would he support you?
Try not to blame or shame yourself. Often, in a difficult situation, we start attacking ourselves: “Oh, this happened to me, so I’m a failure and don’t deserve happiness,” “I’m stupid. An intelligent person could not have this happen to them,” “Here we go again. No one loves me, I don’t deserve love, I’m not like that.”
As soon as you catch yourself thinking these thoughts, try to stop the flow of self-recrimination for a few seconds.
It is unlikely to help you now.
Try to take a closer look at these thoughts: does no one really love you?
Is it true that you are ALWAYS unlucky?
Is there at least one person/one situation where everything went wrong?
“It seems so now.” Many of us are avid fans of torturing ourselves with endless “but if I hadn’t done that, everything would have been better.”
Everything happened the way it did.
And humanity has not yet invented a time machine that can transport us to an alternative reality, as in The Butterfly Effect.
Try to accept where you are here and now.
Sometimes this is enough to ease your condition and start moving on.
Build on your previous experience. Everyone has had situations in their lives where they managed to cope with stress.
Try to remember: when did you emerge victorious from a difficult situation?
What qualities did you have that helped you do this?
Who was there to help you?
Please refer to the resource place. Think of a place where you feel comfortable and safe.
For some, it’s their own room, for others it’s a park or a riverbank.
Visit this place, either in reality or in your imagination.
Stay there as long as you want.
Do something that gives you pleasure and energy. Hobbies, work, socializing, sleeping, eating delicious food, walking – it’s different for everyone.
If these methods were not enough and you are still experiencing difficult and difficult feelings, do not wait and make an appointment with a psychotherapist.
